I've always wanted to breastfeed lil K for as long as possible - either 2 years or until when I'm pregnant. Of late, and when we're having plans to plan for the 2nd one, I've started reading up articles on breastfeeding during pregnancy. Sure there are lots of mom out there who are able to breastfeed throughout their pregnancy and I'm inspired by them, but a number of questions start popping into my head at the same time. What if lil K doesn't self wean by the time I hit 2nd trimester and my belly starts getting bigger each day? What if the 2nd pregnancy is worse than the 1st i.e. the nausea & vomitting, etc? Will I be able to have enough food intake to produce nutrients for lil K, baby and me? Yadiyadiyada...
I'm really worried that I'd be stuck with the nausea and vomitting. I've had that during my 1st pregnancy, though it was minor but it was not fun. Yes, each pregnancy would be different but what if it's worse than the 1st? Much after consideration and reluctance, I've finally made the decision to wean lil K off my boobs.
Lil K has a habit of wanting to nurse direct when he's back from the nanny's place, before he goes to sleep and during his dreamfeed. It's his way of getting mommy's comfort from me after being away from him for 8.5 hours. Slowly I replaced the nursing session when he's back from nanny with bottle feed but I still remained the nurse to sleep session. To my surprise he accepted the 1st change quite well and didn't fuss to nurse direct. Yay! One challenge down! :D
Next it was to slowly wean him from nursing direct during his dreamfeed. And he took it pretty well and it was cute to see him hold the bottle and feed himself during his dreamfeed! Great! Two down! XD
I left weaning him from nursing to sleep till the very last as it's really something I know that both of us will miss a lot. And this one, as expected, it wasn't as easy as the earlier two. We introduced him to a soft toy which he liked and let him hug the toy to sleep. But he wasn't keen on the idea. He still wanted to nurse direct, and me, well I gave in of course. Until there was this day I wasn't feeling too well at night and I went to bed early. Hubs said he'd take care of lil K and try to tuck him to bed. I went off to dreamland and was to be awaken by lil K's crying. He was crying so much and I knew he wanted to nurse. And with me not being well, I just wanted to get up to nurse him to sleep so that I can retire to bed a.s.a.p.. But hubs told me not to do anything and go back to bed. It's really heart breaking to see the lil bub cry and wail for at least 30 minutes. Finally lil K was too tired from all the crying and dozed off while sobbing away. Another heart breaking moment! Then I lost it! It was my turn started crying, feeling bad and guilty for wanting to wean him from nursing so that I can prepare for the 2nd pregnancy - BAD, SELFISH MOM. Hubs couldn't understand why I felt this way since I was the one who made the decision of wanting to wean him. At least his hugs was all that mattered at that time.
The next day, hubs had his 2nd attempt to tuck lil K to bed. This time, there was no crying or wailings. Lil K just played in his cot for 30 minutes and dozed off himself. Even 3rd & 4th attempt was the same! Another yay! :D
However, for the past 2 days he'd been trying to tell me he missed the nursing session we used to have. He'd come to me and hug, and point to my boobs at times. So I responded with 'Mommy no more milk milk dy..'. Well he was disappointed, but I gave him lots of hugs every now and then when he's playing, to let him know that mommy's comfort will always be around but in a different form. So that cheered him up again. But it was the more frequent hugs that I've been showering him of late, he refused to sleep on his own. He wanted to be cuddled to sleep. Of course he still try his way to get a direct latch, but I just responded with 'Mommy no more milk milk dy.. Mommy hug hug to sleep ok?' He didn't liked the idea at first but he still accepted it. So now, it's cuddling him to sleep instead of nursing. Guess all these takes time, after all he's only a 13-month old.
On the brighter note, at least I still managed to wean him. :)
